After Thoughts

I think everyone has at one point experienced that feeling that time isn’t logical.  For me, seven months never felt so short, yet three weeks ago so far back.  Returning to a familiar place at a time of year when I normally come home for the holidays was full of mixed emotions – in part because of that desire to not let go of that final link that kept me feeling close to India.

Looks a bit different in December than May!

Two weeks at the Coady International Institute has given me many more things to consider, allowing me to deconstruct my experience and draw out lessons to take forward.  Here are some of my favourite topics touched upon.

On cultural reintegration:

Many individuals have expressed concern over “How was India?” Some may be inquiring about my living conditions (quite comfortable – and you can get everything in Hyderabad).  Others hold an underlying curiosity around safety for women.  Regretfully, it seems that Western media has picked up on some of India’s rape stories, but missed over much of everything else that has been going on the country – such as the unmanned mission to Mars launched on 5 November.* The only way I can try to address this is to draw a parallel: the only story about Canada to hit international news in the past six months has been about Rob Ford, Toronto’s crack-smoking mayor.  I am pretty sure a lot more has been going on in Canada other than that.  Same for India.

(*Unfortunately Western media has raised some controversy about the Mars mission. My colleague drew my attention to an article that confronts those double standards and outlines the benefits of a Mars mission for India. It is also the most cost effective space launch – ever.)

Frosted over window in my room – perhaps when the heating went?

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On a Saturday morning a group of us went to the Antigonish Farmer’s Market, indulging in some delicious local baked goods, browsing artisan products, listening to carollers and enjoying the overall holiday atmosphere. Suddenly the power went out.  We barely flinched – it just seemed so normal, as in India (as many developing countries) power cuts are routine.  Unfortunately in the Canadian winter context, a power outage is followed by cold.  Although the power came back on within a couple of hours, we didn’t immediately notice that the heating and hot water in our building was somehow still disrupted.  When the next morning we had no hot water it was quite evident.  In India I had my fair share of cold showers; but the air temperature was in the high 20s or low 30s Celsius.  Suddenly I was less ok with the cold shower in Canada.  Luckily, being in Canada, once we notified someone they come immediately and resolved the problem within an hour or so.  That kind of efficiency I do appreciate.

On lifestyle:

I was happy to do almost all of my Christmas shopping early in November, at my own pace, browsing through markets and shops in Hyderabad.  Coming back to Canada during the height of Western consumerism (that is Christmas) is not something that greatly excites me.

Coady International Institute

– “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” – Will Rogers.

– “Much of our shared knowledge about ourselves and our culture comes to us through a commercial process of storytelling called branding” – James Twitchel’s Branded Nation

– We unconsciously use stuff to assess a person’s status.

– Individuals use shopping as an outlet to cope with boredom, stress, depression, anger, self-critical thoughts, tension, anxiety and loneliness.

Living for seven months out of two suitcases put things into perspective.  I simply have way too many things that I do not really need.  “The world gets a lot bigger when you are living small because [you] can afford to do a lot more things in terms of cash and time.” – Tammy Strobel’s You Can Buy Happiness (and It’s Cheap)

Taking a slightly less typical path can be a challenge, simply because society will push you toward a conventional lifestyle – social assumptions of what is success.  But it’s worth a fight. (For two recent takes on this, see Letter to an 18-year old on the Career Path Less Traveled  and Everyone Says I am Running Away.)

On peacefulness:

– When times are tough, we often say “this time will pass.”  Remember – in moments of great happiness and peacefulness, “this too shall pass.”  There are always highs and lows in life, and we do not stay in a state of peacefulness forever.  It is therefore useless to constantly pursue some indefinite state of happiness and peacefulness; we need to embrace the journey and the emotion of the time.

– Judge-mentalism and self-righteousness is not a productive approach to educating others. I have struggled with this quite a bit, sometimes getting angry at others who don’t seem to care about: the environment (in terms of a throw-away consumerist culture), where their clothes come from (the labour conditions under which they were made), what they eat (how big of a carbon footprint the food item holds), etc.  Yet I am far from perfect.  I am no better than others, and no worse than others.  I just evidently have a deep desire to educate others.  Anger and judgementalism is not a useful path to bring change.  Therefore before we can try to change society, we need to be mindful and at peace with ourselves.

– Privilege should not be taken personally. I used to feel almost resentful of my privileged background, not understanding why I deserved it – and feeling that I needed to somehow fulfil my responsibility as a privileged individual.  Yet there should be no guilt associated with it. I once read somewhere (and am sorry to not be able to recall where), that no group feels so uncomfortable in their own skin as privileged white individuals who work in international development.  I cannot change who I am; I can only control what I do with it.